Home Random Ask me anything TagsAbout Me Designer Archive RSS


- The Best moment Mickey/Jack

Share on or



Olivia Wilde on playing LGBT characters. 

Love it

Share on or
Share on or


Share on or


It took me awhile to realize that this was why the “forgiveness” scene at Christmas didn’t sit right with me. (Well, that and the fact that forgiveness was never actually asked for nor granted.)

John has trust issues. The fall, and Sherlock’s return, certainly didn’t do much to help those - more likely, it caused a setback. As of his wedding, John is still seeing his therapist. And while certainly his reasons for continuing therapy are numerous, we are told repeatedly that one of his big issues is trust.

And here John has learned he does not know who his wife is. He doesn’t know her name, her nationality, her first language. He doesn’t know anything about her family, her childhood…all he knows is that this woman used to be an assassin and has, in his words, “lied to me since the day we met.” It is actually a larger-scale lie than Sherlock’s fake suicide.

We watched John struggle with forgiving Sherlock in TEH. That was a huge betrayal of trust, and despite how much he’d missed Sherlock, John had a hard time getting passed it. What was it he kept asking? I don’t care how you did it, Sherlock. I want to know why. And, while we never see Sherlock fully explain Jim’s plan to John on the show, John’s blog informs us John did eventually learn the truth:

Turns out he’d faked his death because Moriarty had threatened those close to him. Including me. He’d gone into hiding, happy to leave me and everyone else thinking he was dead. He’d done it to save us but he hadn’t trusted us enough to tell us what was really going on. Not sure I’ll ever truly forgive him for that but as the saying goes, life goes on.

John does say “of course I forgive you” at the end of TEH, in what he thinks are his dying moments. But clearly this is a huge, huge deal for John, and again, a massive setback in terms of his trust issues.

So after spending months apart from Mary to come to terms with her enormous betrayal…we’re supposed to believe that John tosses out the hard drive supposedly containing her history, essentially tells her they’ve got a clean slate, he doesn’t care what she’s done – which, according to her, could put her away for life, not legal stuff, not CIA stuff, not necessarily killing “bad” people, maybe just killing people – but no no no, Captain Trust Issues Watson doesn’t care about her past that is even at this moment threatening her safety, his safety, and their unborn child’s safety because the guy John saw piss in a fireplace has already made it clear he knows what Mary’s done and could expose her to the enemies she’s made and judging from today’s Lord Smallwood Suicide headline he’s got no fucking problem pushing those he blackmails to the brink and beyond?

"The problems of your past…" Um, those are the problems of your future, John. Hell, they’re the problems of your present. It’s not just unbelievable that John would swallow all this and try to move on with a clean slate, it’s frankly insanely irresponsible and dangerous behavior for a father-to-be. Either that, or…

It’s bullshit. It’s such bullshit. John has fucking trust issues. He wants to know who he married. He wants to know who’s carrying his child. He wants to know what “Mary’s” done that led to something as drastic as assuming a false identity for five years, threatening a media mogul at gunpoint, and shooting and nearly killing a man who offered to help her.

John wants to know why. And that’s why he came in with “prepared words, words chosen with care.” Rehearsed. Carefully rehearsed words that are part of a larger plan we’ll see unfold in season four.

Let’s pretend the Watson marriage was “domestic bliss” up until the shooting; let’s pretend Mary was the love of John’s life; even then, how does this odd “forgive and forget” thing make sense? True love is not accepting that your partner has done things they’re so desperate for you not to find out, they attempt murder. True love is not sweeping the past under the rug while knowing it puts both of your and your child in danger.

I don’t know what’s going on with John in the Christmas scene. But actual forgiveness has nothing to do with it.

(ETA: If Martin Freeman can say shit with a look, what the HELL is he telling her in that last gif?!)

Share on or





I’ve never been more emotional about any social media post in my entire life

UPDATE: guys Beth Broderick tweeted yesterday that this Salem is THE SAME SALEM!!! He’s 20 years old man!!!! 20!

That Salem is still kicking is all I care about.

Share on or

requested by speedybail

(Source: thepondsonacloud)

Share on or


John Barrowman: A Throwback Thursday Thank You

It was 1984 and I was a very young closeted gay kid who had just moved to a new town and a new school in Joliet Illinois. During my first week at Joliet West High School my new next door neighbor asked if I would like to attend a school play that was being put on that evening, and having no friends or anything to do, I agreed to go. The play was a production of The Miracle Worker and I was captivated from the beginning to the end. It was my first real introduction to acting and dramatic plays, but it was also my first time seeing the woman who would become my life-long best friend, and the man who would inspire me to accept and be honest about my sexuality during one of the most homophobic periods in American history. I recall the play had barely begun when I pointed at the two actors onstage and asked my neighbor, “Who are they?” And she replied very matter-of-factly, “Her name is Hazel Fuller, she is like the black version of Madonna at this school; and his name is John Barrowman, and he is going to be a STAR!”

John would indeed go on to be a star of stage and screen, perhaps most notably for his role as Captain Jack Harkness in the British Sci-Fi series Torchwood. John would also become an inspiration to young actors and gay men around the world when he officially came out of the closet professionally in 2004. But even back in high school he was never really that in the closet to begin with. Yes, he did have a girlfriend for awhile, her name was Page as I recall, and she was a pretty and popular cheerleader. I have a very vivid memory of one night towards the end of John’s senior year. Hazel and I were at a party at John’s house (he threw several parties) and at one point we went upstairs to use the bathroom only to find Page and a group of her cheerleader friends already in the bathroom. The girls were all consoling Page, who was visibly upset and next to tears. I don’t remember the exact details but apparently John had either just recently told her that he was gay or she had been informed of the fact and John didn’t deny it. And I just remember that Hazel and I walked out of the bathroom talking to each other about how surprised we were that Page was surprised by the news. We, like many at school, assumed she knew that John was probably gay. I remember John’s sexuality was often a subject on the school’s gossip vine.

I was a junior during John’s senior year in high school but I would see him two other times after he graduated and both times are seared into my memory bank. The summer after John graduated I heard that he had a starring role in a local adaption of the play Deathtrap and so I bought a ticket and happily attended. I was totally blown away by John’s talent as an actor. Even though I was in Drama Club and even had a small role along with John in our high school production of Li’l Aber and had seen him on stage several times before, this was a whole new level of talent and it just seemed to come to John so naturally. In the play Deathtrap it is revealed that John’s character is actually a gay man. Playing a gay role now-a-days is no big deal but back in the mid ‘80’s when the early AIDS epidemic had just begun and the homophobia and hatred of gay people was so prevalent in America that it was almost palpable, and playing a gay role was downright courageous for any actor to take on, let alone one just out of high school! I was so incredibly inspired by John that night and his inspiration began to have some rather immediate effects on my behavior during my final year of high school. I stopped all pretensions of being a jock and any aspirations of being a “cool kid” and I shocked a few friends by adopting a “neo gay punk” look (which basically consisted of me shaving the sides of my head and growing out the top and adding heavy streaks of blonde — as well as wearing lots of over-sized Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Depeche Mode t-shirts). My journey exploring my sexuality had begun.

I would see John one other time. I was at a football game during my senior year of high school. And if any of you have attended high school in rural America, or seen Friday Night Lights on TV, then you know what incredibly hyper-heterosexual environments high school foot ball games are. And as I sat there on my little perch way down at the ostracized far end of the field I caught sight of John Barrowman confidently walking towards the bleachers that were packed full of his former classmates. John literally strode down the entire length of the front of the bleachers. Even today it’s hard to describe, but if you’ve ever heard RuPaul’s popular dance track “Sissy That Walk" you’ll have some idea of the performance John was serving in front of the entire school on the football field that day! He didn’t say it and he didn’t have to. In fact, to me it seemed as though he couldn’t have been more obvious if he had paraded in front of the entire school with a large rainbow sign emblazoned with the words "I AM GAY & PROUD!" He called out "Hello" to a few of his old friends while waving to them in front of the now absolutely shocked crowd. John’s movements seemed grandiose and somewhat over exaggerated and there was a defiant smile locked on to his handsome face.

I will remember that till the day I die. I think it was John’s way of letting everyone at school know that they no longer had any power over him. He was free. And almost as soon as he made his grand entrance and was satisfied that everyone had taken note, I saw John turn and start walking back off the field. I ran down to the edge of the bleachers and yelled out “Hi John, you look great!” John looked over and walked towards me. He reached out his hand, at first I thought to shake mine, but instead he reached up and grabbed a lock of my newly blonde hair, winked at me, smiled and said “Nice hair, Wayne.” It was such a simple thing and yet it was the first time in my life that I had ever felt any type of validation as a gay man and it was the very first time that I had ever seen such a positive image of a gay man, he was not only not ashamed of his sexuality — he was defiantly proud of it! The realization that being proud of my sexuality could actually be an option in life was a huge revelation to me.

Hazel and I remain close friends to this very day as she continues to live her dream as a singer/songwriter in Chicago. I am the proud godfather of her now adult son who himself just recently graduated from Joliet West High School. And though John’s path and mine were never to cross again I carried the memory of his proud defiance with me as I began to break down the barriers of shame and fear in my own life. Determined to prove the stereotypes wrong I joined the Army after high school. I was going to prove to myself and everyone that I was just as tough as any straight boy and could handle whatever the military could dish out. And I know that my memory of John’s courage inspired me when I left the military after a full tour of duty and later became an activist for the repeal of the discriminatory “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy and for the passage of marriage equality laws. I guess writing this throw-back Thursday article on John is my way of thanking him for being brave back when we were kids and for giving me an example of a proud and confidant gay man at a time in my life when I was so very desperate for a role model. Thank you, John.

(p.s. John, if you do happen to read this, Hazel said to make sure I tell you that she said “Hey, Baby!”)

Shared from Carole E.Barrowman via Facebook (x)

Share on or

make me choose
 foundcas & hedied4us asked: jack/ianto or tosh/owen?

Share on or
Miss Barrowmaniac
I don't have MySpace I don't have a YT Channel I don't have Twitter I don't have Facebook I don't have Flickr
(Evidently) I'm a huge John Barrowman fan, so expect to see considerable amounts of him around here! Also a fan of Torchwood, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Lost Girl and a bit of a Potterhead. I also love random cute and funny stuff.
Proud Slytherin (add me on Pottermore! MidnightMoon2995).
Gay rights supporter.
If there's anything else you'd like to know, don't hesitate to ask!